


I Wonder About Him

by SummerStormFlower



Series: Snow and Hippies [3]
Category: Fairy Tail
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Child Death, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hot Chocolate, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Talking About the Past, Talking about family, sad stuff, talking about feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-02
Updated: 2019-12-02
Packaged: 2021-02-25 21:33:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 954
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21642253
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SummerStormFlower/pseuds/SummerStormFlower
Summary: It’s the day Natsu’s little brother died thirteen years ago. Gray is there to listen to him recall the memory.
Relationships: Natsu Dragneel/Gray Fullbuster
Series: Snow and Hippies [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1453162
Comments: 2
Kudos: 30





	I Wonder About Him

Gray knocks on their bedroom door. 

It’s silent. 

Gray knocks again. He knows Natsu said he wanted to be alone. But he’s been in their room for hours now and Gray doesn’t feel right leaving him by himself.

“Come in,” Natsu mumbles. His voice sounds like gravel.

Gray enters. The light is off, the curtains closed. Gray leaves the light off, but opens the curtain, revealing the stars and snow. 

Natsu is in bed, curled around his pillow. The moonlight shines on his face. His eyes are red.

Gray sits down beside him, gently running his hand through Natsu’s hair, sticking out of his bandanna. Gray has never actually seen him take it off. Not even after a shower.

“Do you wanna tell me about him?” Gray asks.

Natsu is quiet for a moment, thinking about it. Then he shakes his head.

“Are you sure?” Gray asks again. He always gets sad on his mom’s birthday. Talking to Natsu about her usually makes him feel a little better. The ache is still there, but it’s duller. 

“I’m sure,” Natsu says quietly, squeezing his eyes shut.

It hurts Gray’s heart to see him like this. He traces his thumb on Natsu’s cheek. He’s as cold as ice.

“I’ll make you some hot chocolate.” Gray stands up. Before he can leave though, Natsu grabs his hand.

“Actually,” he croaks, “I do wanna talk about him.”

Gray sits back down, holding his hand. “Okay,” he says and waits for Natsu to begin.

Natsu blinks rapidly and swallows for two minutes before he starts. Then, squeezing Gray’s hand, he opens his mouth.

“His name was Sam. After our dad. But he hated it, so we called him Sting.”

“Yeah?” Gray says softly, so Natsu knows he’s listening. He massages the back of Natsu’s neck, gentle circular motions with his thumb. Natsu takes a deep breath and exhales, leaning into Gray’s touch and closing his eyes.

“He called me Nacho because he couldn’t pronounce my name right.” A small smile flickers on Natsu’s face. But it’s gone in a matter of seconds. “He was so small. And always full of energy. Of smiles... Of love.”

“He sounds precious,” says Gray.

“He was,” Natsu agrees immediately, “He was a gift from heaven.”

Natsu is quiet for a little while, just breathing steadily in and out, while Gray’s fingers travel down to massage his back.

“You know,” he starts again, “after our mom killed herself, it was just us four. Me, my big brother Zeref, my sister Wendy, and my baby brother Sting.”

Gray pauses. Then continues his massage. “You’ve never told me that before.”

Natsu shrugs. “I never knew how to.” He looks at Gray uncertainly. “Can I... tell you more?”

Gray nods. “Of course.”

Natsu scoots a little closer, pressing his forehead to Gray’s thigh. “I remember her and that day. She kissed me goodnight and told me she loved me. Zeref found her... in her room. He told me to keep the kids away. Wendy was so little and Sting wasn’t even a year old.”

Gray’s chest throbs. The wind howls outside. A snowstorm’s brewing.

“Zeref took care of us after that. He worked hard, but it wasn’t enough. Could hardly afford anything. So he started... doing odd jobs... Money still wasn’t good, but we got to keep our apartment.”

Natsu’s eyes glisten, making Gray’s heart clench and he just has to brush his lover’s tears away with his knuckles.

“Then Zeref got real sick and he couldn’t work. I did all I could to help. I was ten, so I couldn’t do much. I made Zeref soup. Helped Wendy with her homework. Took Sting to daycare.”

“Ten years old? Oh baby,” Gray whispers. The thought of a little Natsu trying so hard to keep everything from falling apart makes his stomach twist.

“I worked too,” Natsu says, “Babysitting. Sting was friends with this baby boy, Ryos, at daycare. His mom spoke only a little English, but she was really sweet. I babysat for her. Often.” Natsu chewed on his lip. “I think... it wasn’t safe for Ryos at home. Sometimes I’d see bruises on his mom’s skin.”

Gray blinks, having a hard time processing all of this information. Natsu rarely ever talks about his life before he met Gray, let alone his childhood. Now Gray knows why.

It’s hard to understand how such a sunny person has been through so much darkness.

Natsu looks at him then. “Do you want to know how Sting died?”

Gray cups his face and leans down to kiss his forehead. “Only if you want to tell me.”

Natsu sighs shakily. “I want to,” he says.

Gray feels the hand in his tremble.

Natsu sits up. He swallows, eyes glistening again. “I’d just picked up Wendy from school and Sting from daycare. Sting was super hyper and wouldn’t let me carry him, so I held his hand while we walked. Then...” Natsu swallows again, harder. “We were.... a-about to cross the street.”

Gray gently squeezes his shaking hand.

“We were waiting for all the c-cars to pass. But-but Sting let go of me and ran in-into the traffic—“ a heartbroken sob cuts Natsu off.

“Oh honey,” Gray says empathetically, pulling Natsu into his arms.

“Wendy r-ran after him before I could. There w-was a truck coming. Wendy was closer, s-so I grabbed her and Sting—!”

Natsu breaks down crying. Gray shushes him, rocking him back and fourth. 

“I’m so sorry, baby,” Gray says, pressing a kiss to the top of Natsu’s head.

Natsu clutches him like a lifeline. “Thank you for listening.”

Gray holds him tighter. “Of course. Anytime. Anytime you need. Anytime, you hear?”

Natsu nods against Gray’s chest. “I hear.”

**Author's Note:**

> I’ve had this idea for awhile. It’s about time I finally wrote it down. Was that an okay ending? I honestly couldn’t think of anything else to add. I hope it’s okay.  
> Anyways, thanks to those who read!


End file.
